Anonymous said: a friend of my recently invited me to a play party, and i've never been to one so i asked her what to wear, but she just said "whatever you feel comfortable in." which is all well and good, but that told me nothing. i'm not sure that i would feel comfortable in fetish wear or anything like that, so i thought about just wearing a black, button up shirt and a pair of jeans, but i'm worried that would look weird and out of place.
Not at all. If there isn’t a dress code, then “black shirt and jeans” will probably describe about 50% of the crowd.
Fun story: I was reading a book for review, and it described a typical play party as having a “90% leather rule.”
Meaning your outfit had to be 90% leather.
… people really don’t do their research.
This is what I think disability acceptance means:
- Facing what your abilities are and aren’t
- Accepting yourself as already having value
- Living your life now and doing things you care about.
- Not putting your life on hold waiting for a cure
But, some kinds of acceptance talk end up putting destructive kinds of pressure on people. And I think:
- It’s ok to like or dislike being disabled. It’s ok to like some aspects of your condition but not others
- It’s ok to want treatment and to be frustrated that it isn’t available
- It’s ok to pursue treatment that *is* available
- It’s ok to work hard to gain or keep certain physical or cognitive abilities, and to be happy or proud that you have them
- It’s ok to decide that some abilities aren’t worth keeping, and to be happy or proud about moving on from them
- All of those things are very personal choices, and no one’s business but your own
- None of them are betrayals of acceptance or other disabled people
The point of acceptance is to get past magical thinking.
It means seeing yourself as you actually are, without being consumed by either tragedy or the need to focus on overcoming disability. It means accepting where you are, and living now, without putting your life on hold waiting for a cure.
Acceptance creates abilities. Acceptance makes it easier to be happy and to make good decisions. But acceptance does not solve everything, and it does not come with an obligation to love absolutely every aspect of being disabled.
The most dangerous risk of all is that law students with psychiatric disabilities will avoid treatment out of fear of having to report it to the bar examiners and consequently being denied a license to practice law.
This risk highlights the most striking problem with these “fitness” questions: They target students who have sought treatment—an exercise of good judgment—and punish them for it."
I had no idea that the bar (in most states) asks such invasive questions about your mental health treatment history and requires such extensive, sometimes life-long documentation.
Wow. I didn’t know that either.