I just know I can’t be the only one on tumblr who gets kind of sad at those “dad joke” memes that get reblogged dozens of times a day where the posts are basically all “dads are all corny and slightly over protective and lovingly aodrkable am i right?”
Because no. Mine wasn’t. Reflecting on my dad doesn’t end with my smiling whimsically at his bad puns and the goofy ways he had of showing he loved me.
So to everyone else out there feeling the same - just know you aren’t alone. My dad sucked too.
i really wish “i forgot” could be treated as a legitimate excuse. for a lot of disabled people, it isn’t a testament of being uncaring or lazy - it’s a genuine expression of remorse.
4000 notes makes me think this really resonated with a lot of disabled people
- Alistair: My mother's dead
- Leliana: My mother's dead
- Zevran: My mother's dead
- Morrigan: I need you to kill my mother
Someday I will write a post called “How to Survive Grad School with Disabilities/Chronic Illnesses”
… right after I figure out how to do it.
shutupamberxo said: Thank you so much for your post on biphobia! The same people that are talking about equality for everyone are shunning bisexuals because we're "greedy" or "indecisive", and it's really frustrating! You really hit the nail on the head. You are fantastic.
Fun fact about American health care: if I ever need an organ transplant, I’ll somehow have to hide my autism, depression, and anxiety from the doctors, or else I’ll be disqualified under ideas about quality of life. It’s really great to know how valued disabled and neurodivergent lives are.
So here’s a thing many people don’t know about me: I used to be a medical data analyst. (I still do it occasionally, but not as a full-time job.) It’s a pretty self-explanatory job: I took data - often in enormous datasets - and analyzed it to find patterns. (Obviously, we couldn’t associate these with individual patients; this was just after HIPAA had come into effect, and so this data was very heavily scrubbed to remove any identifiable information.)
One of the patterns I looked for was quality of life and quality of care for people with severe and persistent mental illness (SPMI). For our purposes, that meant major depression, bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and “other SPMI” (I encourage you to not send me messages telling me how those categories are terrible, because a) it was ten years ago and b) I wasn’t in charge of the categories.) In particular, we looked at injury, illness, and death in people with SPMI, compared with the general population, while they were in the hospital and at certain intervals after they were released (30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 180 days, and 1 year).
People with severe and persistent illness were much more likely to become ill and/or die in the hospital or shortly after discharge than the “general population”. People with schizophrenia had nearly ten times the deaths while in the hospital, and twelve times the injuries and illnesses.
Just as telling were the notes associated with the patient records. There was a significant pattern in the terminology used. In patients in the “general population”, doctors tended to use the word “is”: for example, “patient is suffering from abdominal cramping”. In patients with SPMI, doctors tended to use the phrase “claims to be”: for example, “patient claims to be suffering from abdominal cramping”.
It was clear to us that medical professionals - in general, I know for a fact that there are doctors out there who don’t do this - were assuming that patients with severe and persistent mental illness were inventing some, if not all, of their symptoms - that the symptoms were not real, and therefore did not need to be treated.
And because of that, these patients were falling ill and dying at alarming rates.
This isn’t personal anecdotes. I spent more than a year analyzing this data - which came from actual hospitals in the United States - and finding these patterns. There’s a problem here.
(I would prefer not to give out the name I was using then in public here, but if you’re interested, message me privately and I’ll see if I can get you links to the articles.)
Excuse me while I go stick my head in a bucket of water
"why don’t you go to the doctor, gabby" "why don’t you trust doctors, gabby" "why do you have persistent morbid visions of your life being essentially over should you fall ill or break a limb, gabby"